Dear Santa,
Christmas and my birthday are coming soon. I have been a very good girl. I know that with globalization, social injustice, and the defamation of the elves you have been a very busy narcissistic oppressionist. Even though I do not appreciate your male chauvinistic ways of barging, intruding, eating high calorie/carbohydrate sweets that can lead up to diabetes, heart disease, and probably cancer; while performing your so called “random acts” of good deeds and will, towards your fellow man/woman/child. As an adult I believe you are an obese retired pedophile that has nothing to do in your spare time. I shall set my negative feelings aside and I will take the opportunity to socially humiliate myself by telling you what I want this Christmas since for the past few consecutive years you have taken it upon yourself to screw it up.
I would very much appreciate a skill and stat ball.
Also, the implementation of cheap pardon deeds for those lonely criminals that have performed evil deeds to fellow trammies that believe they can hang out in Fel.
While you are parading about on peoples roofs and destroying fine chimney craftsmanship, I hope you take it upon yourself to realize that the true meaning of Christmas is keeping me happy. Now, I know I should apologize for my egocentric and politically correct views, but the reality is that you owe it to me this year. With all said, and eliminating bitter feeling of hatred towards you, I shall cordially wish you the best of the holiday season.
Thank you!
Amnesia
P.S I have not forgotten Christmas of 2003, because of this my lawyer will still be in contact with you to insure you carry out a better service this year.